雅思写作分析——以2月23日雅思考试为例

雅思写作分析——以2月23日雅思考试为例

大作文：Some people hold that we should spend a mount of time and money on the protection of wild animals. Some people argue that they should be spent on human populations. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the recent years, the World Wild Animals Protection Association initiated that people should enhance the attention to the protection of wild animals. Many countries run planty invest plenty of money and time in building wild life reserves. However,some people believed that it would be better to spend the money and resources on human populations instead of in those animals. Considering the issue, it is crucial to explore it from two sides.

As my point of view, actually ,we are not only save animals,we do save ourselves.With the rocket rising speed of economic development,people ignored the environmental protection. The forest area of the world was sharp decreased and many rivers were polluted.The wild animals lost their habitats and food so a lot kinds of wild animals are in danger.If we do not take anything and let On the one hand, it is undeniable that wild animals deserve human’s protection. Firstly, the protection of animals is linked to human and other creatures’ survival. them animals are likely to go to extinction, human will also be in danger because of the food chain. Since we all live in the same planet,we should protect the ecological balance. Secondly, Protecting wild animals is for to protect the diversity of specials.If a kind of animalsdisappear,it will also impact the upper and under level of its food chain. What’s more, Thirdly, the preservation of animals contributes to the maintenance of ecological system. with the wild animals’ diversity decreasing, the whole ecological system will be broken. damaged.  At that time,human habitat will also be threatened. We can not leave a such terrible world to our next generation.Fortunately,many countries realized this problem and pay attention to wild animals protection. They built the wild life reserves and volunteers from all over the world have launched many campaigns to protect wild animals.

On the other hand, it is also important that resources and fund should be invested in human populations.  接着写完

To conclude that,for the sustainable development of the world,we must pay attention to the wild animals protection,which is a huge money and time consuming project but it is necessary to spent because of the ecological balance.

Task  response 5

Coherence 5

Grammar 6

Vocabulary 6

Overall 5.5

建议 ： 

1. 必须辩证的写   双方观点都要讨论    不能省略一边观点

2. 不能出现人称   雅思写作用第三人称

3. 必须写主题句

根据建议后的修改：

大作文：Task2：Some people think that a large amount of money and time is spent on the protection of wild animals and that this money could be better spent on human population. To what extent do you     agree or disagree?

In the recent years, the World Wild AnimalsProtection Association initiated that people should enhance the attention tothe protection of wild animals. Many countries exactly invested planty offinancial and time resources in building wild life reserves. However,somepeople believed that it would be better to spend the money and resources onhuman populations instead of in those animals. Considering the issue, it iscrucial to explore it from two sides.

On the one hand,it is undeniable that wildanimals deserve human’s protection. Firstly, the protection of animals islinked to human and other creatures’ survival. When animals are likely to go toextinction,human will also be in danger because of the food chains.Since we humans all livein the same planet, we humans should protect the keep ecological balance. Secondly, protecting wildanimals is for protect the diversity of specials. If a kind of animalsdisappear, it will also impact the upper and under level of its food chain. Thirdly,the preservation of animals contributes to the maintenance of ecological system.With the wild animals’ diversity decreasing, the whole ecological system willbe damaged. At that time, human habitat will also be threatened.

On the other hand, it is also importantthat resources and fund should be invested in human population. It is true thatthere are still fundamental problems of human population, such as famine andpoverty. In many parts of the world nowadays and that more budgets of thegovernment should be used to solve them.For example, China, a typical Asian country with the largest population,  is a country with a huge population, there arebillions of money spending spent on infrastructure construction every year. Ithelps to enhance population’s standard of living.

Overall, In conclusion, protectingwildlife has never been so essential in the history of humidity and thegovernment should pay the same attention to both wild animals and humanpopulations.The official can try to distribute its resources carefullyaccording to the situation of the nation.

Task  response 7

Coherence 6

Grammar 7

Vocabulary 7

Overall 6.5

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