一文拯救你的雅思写作Task 2

雅思大作文题目：Some people believe that the purpose of education is to produce good citizens and workers for society. Other, however, think the purpose of education is to help young people achieve their personal ambitions.Discuss both of the views and give your own opinion.

写作思路解析

In the modern society, education is viewed the basement of country development, even the basic education is free or very low expense in most of countries. <<< 意思离题较远。应该依托题目的立意来写句： For some people, particularly people fromunprivileged backgrounds, education is the ladder leading to a higher socioeconomical status. <<< 暗示了题目中的 personal ambitions，习惯性地把要反驳的放在前面说，然后反驳：However, is that the true mission of education in those countries? <<< 问句是一种措辞技巧，因为没有直说，所以可以吸引读者的阅读注意力。接下来，回答自己的提问：In fact, education is to serve a society as a whole and tocultivate civilized and productive citizens. <<< 注意语法点：动词不定式表目的，正好符合题目讨论purpose（目的）的需要。

Obviously, a good breeding and education is important and helpfulto for achieve personal success attainment, especially to for youngpersons people. For example, when young persons people begin to find work seek employment, the first impression may be given by status of their educational background, such as the level of education, the score in the institute and so on most employers look for the applicants’ educational experiences before they read other descriptions. <<< 体会这句话的想法的巧妙，没有直说成“教育背景是打动雇主的项”。More importantly In addition, the professional knowledge is useful to get better achievement. there are many cases of success in which those who have met personal ambitions are well-educated. <<< 故意把道理反过来推，逻辑是“因为许多成功人士是接受过良好教育的，所以教育是为了实现个人成功的”，这个逻辑明显有漏洞，有漏洞就对了，正好接下来反驳： However, education may facilitate the actualization of one’saspirations, but it serves missions that are more important. 

Compared to the personal ambitions, the advantage service of education is bigger, to for cultivate a society well-behaved and capable nation <<< 题目中的good可以理解为well-behaved, 题目中的workers可以理解为capable的人. A little improvement on every person will cause huge enhancement on society. <<< 这个信息多余。Firstly,good culture education can produce nice citizens, <<< 等于什么都没说呀。and nice citizens form harmonious society, which produces more nice citizens again. 从教育的普遍性切入：nearly every citizen of a nation goes to school. In other words, education touches and enlightens nearly every soul <<< 对应good，因为好人内心善良 and mind <<< 对应workers，因为工作的人总得有点头脑 and only education can have such anextensive effect. Since this is an exclusive advantage of education, education must be responsible for the entire community as a whole. Secondly, good technology education can train the professional workers, and these workers can make perfect produces, and they can get higher payment and richer livers. Besides, the improvement of whole quality of all people is also the result of education, which is good at learning work technology, improving art cultivation and understanding the policies of countries. <<< 内容偏向了教育“能”做什么，而不是“为什么应该”做什么，需要重新考虑，比如时间： In addition, citizens are not born to be well-behaved and productive; instead, it takes years for a country to cultivate good and capable citizens. It is only education that has the time and patience. Education lasts a long-enough period, usually continuing until an individual’s twenties <<< 分词伴随状语. It is also available at any point of a lifetime. For example, there are institutions of increasing levels – primary and secondary schools and universities, and nearly twenty years of a person are spent in these programs.

The most education institutes are created by the social institutes or the countries, <<< 是文章主体部分没有提及的新内容，不可以。 and the service object is the common people, so the purpose of education is for social advantage. Although the education can help young people to achieve their ambitions, Educational institutions can indeed lead young individuals to personal success. However, education is not that simple. The most purpose is for society more significant. <<< 笼统总结，内容不要太详细，措辞处理一下就好。